You don't. You have no choice. 5 Reasons Why Followers Continue To Support Certain Political Leaders "I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. ", 72. ", 37. No nothing! "It's called the American dream . "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? The truth is that George Carlin would be branded a left-wing nut job who has pie-in-the-sky ideas and wants people to collect money for doing nothing. Everything He ever makes dies. "If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. Men are insecure about the size of their dicks, and so they have to kill one another over the idea. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.' George Carlin Believe, Government, Rules To Live By 48 Copy quote Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. But dont participate; it will be your death. By clicking Accept All Cookies, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. Never join a group that has a name. They own everything. George Carlin - Government doesn't care about you - YouTube 0:00 / 0:37 George Carlin - Government doesn't care about you ThreeToedPete 955 subscribers Subscribe 502 Share 35K. Fascism won it. ", 49. ", 97. "In America, anyone can become president. This cookie is used as a unique identifier for the BlueConic profile. ", 25. This cookie is set by Rubicon Project and is used for recording cookie consent data. Daniel Kurtzman is a political journalist turned satirist. Ice Cube may be engaging in a political kerfuffle with Democrats following the news of his latest partnership with President Donald Trump's administration for the "Platinum Plan," but the rapper and actor is keen on letting his fans and followers know that he is not necessarily banding together with the government, despite what the past week of headlines might suggest. 41. Below are some famous quotes and jokes by the man, the myth, the legend, the comedian George Carlin. This cookie is set by the provider Mixcloud. To avoid conflicts, each partner's ID is stored using separate cookies, which are merged to the ljtrtb cookie when it is available. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money. "Things you never hear: 'Please stop sucking my d**k or I'll call the police. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. George Carlin, I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimers disease where they slowly began to recover other peoples lost memories. George Carlin, When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. George Carlin They Don't Give a Fu@k About You - YouTube The cookie, set by Krux Digital, registers a unique ID that identifies a returning user's device. This is one of the greatest social and political commentaries of the modern era. There is actually a semi-important figure in American history who is named for a blow-job movie. You think your current financial. ", 77. Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. Provided by amazon-adsystem to make advertising messages more relevant to the users and their interests. "Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Theyre all in favor of the unborn. I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. "I was a loner as a child. Carlin considered conservatives and Republicans the greedy, warmongering class in political ideologies. You dont. They got you by the balls. "Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. In the footage from his 1996 HBO special, "Back In Town," Carlin tears into the pro-life movement: "Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to 9 months. George Carlin Shitting on GovernmentBuy Me a Pizzahttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/LaughPlGEORGE CARLINhttps://www.youtube.com/user/OfficialGeorgeCarlin/feedGeorge's websitehttps://georgecarlin.com/Social Media:\rInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelaughplanetofficial/\rYoutube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiI_jyH_0yttWG-m5fBYGmA\rTwitter: https://twitter.com/laugh_planet\rWebsite: http://thelaughplanet.comContact us: ash98jha@gmai.com #GeorgeCarlin #Government #America #Comedy #LaughPlanet Quote by George Carlin: "But there's a reason. There - Goodreads ", 11. Here's Why George Carlin's 1996 Rant on Pro-Life Conservatives Still Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. ", 94. He is famous for being named the 'The Dean of Counterculture Comedians.' His dark humor penetrates different issues of life, religion, language, and class. Change), You are commenting using your Facebook account. "Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist. ", 81. ", 39. In the clip, Carlin says the pro-life movement isnt pro-life at all. ", 80. The cookie is a session cookies and is deleted when all the browser windows are closed. Then youre just what theyre looking for. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' ' Avoid teams at all costs. George Carlin: 'Politicians don't actually say things, they INDICATE ", 106. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. They never mention that part to us, do they? Amazon Pay uses this cookie to maintain a "session" that spans multiple days and beyond reboots. YouTube sets this cookie to store the video preferences of the user using embedded YouTube video. ", 36. 234. The cookie is used to store and identify a users' unique session ID for the purpose of managing user session on the website. Nobody seems to care. ", 10. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. So I don't trust none of them. When you see the documentary, you'll see this, but the evolution of Carlin wasn't just . Used to help protect the website against Cross-Site Request Forgery attacks. On June 24, 2022, the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade and ended a women's constitutional right to an abortion in the country. "We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. You can take the boy out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the boy. I recall many years ago, when he was guest-hosting the Tonight show, George Carlin having a somewhat strained political conversation with the comedian Shelley Winters. This cookie is used for preventing the installation of third party advertiser or other cookies on the browser. Answer (1 of 12): He was a liberal. Don't miss a beat. "Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight? How do school teachers handle this? This cookie is used for implementing audio files on the website. The cookie is used for storing the start and end of the user session for nielsen statistics. Its what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. ", 101. The domain of this cookie is owned by Nielsen. Now come the lawsuits, Weird Texas GOP bill would give big tax cuts only to hetero couples with lots of kids, Libs Of TikToks Chaya Raichik & Nikki Haley gave CPAC speeches to mostly empty rooms, 5 times The Onion brilliantly skewered J.K. Rowlings & The New York Times transphobia, A right-wing podcaster tried to smear Pete Buttigieg. This cookie is set by Segment to help track visitor usage, events, target marketing, and also measure application performance and stability. "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. By the way, its the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. Photo: Matthias Clamer (modified by author) Source: Getty Images One-liner jokes. Because he was a genius, and here are 11 quotes that prove it: 1. Google DoubleClick IDE cookies are used to store information about how the user uses the website to present them with relevant ads and according to the user profile. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. Everybody complains about politicians. This cookie, set by DataXu, tracks the advertisement report which helps to improve the marketing activity. ""Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. George Carlin. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? AddThis sets this cookie to enable the visitors to share the web pages on social platforms via sharing buttons on the website. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f**ked. We're all fucked," Carlin once said. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. Weve addedyearstolifenotlife to years. George Carlin, Heres a bumper sticker Id like to see: We are the proud parents of a child whos self-esteem is sufficient that he doesnt need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car. George Carlin, Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight? George Carlin, Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. Pattern Integrity Films set the bit to photos and video clips from modern-day America and the result is devastating. This cookie is set by Segment to track visitor usage and events within the website. These Politicians Don't Care About You At All The failures of people who supposedly represent the people Photo by Marco Oriolesi on Unsplash When people elect leaders in a democracy, the. But once the child is born? The truth is, we dont have people like that. This cookie is set by Facebook to display advertisements when either on Facebook or on a digital platform powered by Facebook advertising, after visiting the website. They've long since bought and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the statehouses, the city halls. 11 Profound Quotes on Politics by George Carlin They own everything," the quote reads. 'American Dream' documentary examines George Carlin's triumphs - NPR "Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice? Vimeo installs this cookie to collect tracking information by setting a unique ID to embed videos to the website. He was as prolific as he was profound, with a career spanning nearly five decades, 23 albums, 14 HBO specials, 130 Tonight Show appearances and three books (plus posthumous releases). ", 17. AWSALB is an application load balancer cookie set by Amazon Web Services to map the session to the target. ""The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post 'Thou shalt not steal,' 'Thou shalt not commit adultery,' and 'Thou shalt not lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. They own you. Check out100 Best Dad Jokes50 Thinking of You Quotes50 Friday Quotes50 Monday Motivation Quotes101Bad Puns200Jokes for Kids, Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television. In fact, liberals are so successful at winning the culture war that they are alienating most Americans. It creates a hostile work environment. George Carlin, The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, Scratch any cynic, and you will find a disappointed idealist. George Carlin, I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. You will be notified via email when a new post is published. So, maybe, maybe, maybe, its not the politicians who suck. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was. George Carlin, How is it possible to have a civil war? George Carlin, Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? He talked about things that could be considered controversial, like politics and politicians, religion, drugs, and the demise of humanity. And generally speaking, people onthe right of center, are interested in property values, property, property rights. Teach them to question what they read. Full transcript of George Carlin's "Dumb Americans," excerpted from "Life is Worth Losing, his 13th live comedy stand-up special, performed at the Beacon Theatre in New York City for HBO. ", 7. They dont give a fuck about you. We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. Then you live in an old age home.